hellomountain

I've been watching you for some time. Your exterior doesn't seem to change but the data says otherwise. Last summer I was reading a book about the volcano Krakatoa, written like a biography and it made me think of you. Technically you are not a mountain but a sleeping volcano, resting its core for 31 years. The last time you have erupted was in my year of birth: 1988. This fact feels like evidence that we are strangely connected and our stories intertwine. I know this is problematic and I see this is exactly what my ancestors did. Claiming and colonizing the land of Others.

I was doing some research on the birthplace of my grandfather Charles aka Charley. I was imagining his life and surroundings of the place they were living at the time. An exotic, unknown place- to me.
I was eight or nine when I first received some information about the history and past of my grandfather and his family. My grandfather Charles was born in 1912 in Banda Neira (naira) in Indonesia. At that time I had no idea about the history of Republic Indonesia or the former known Dutch-Indies. Exciting information which made me proud to claim to everyone I knew that I was from Indonesian descent. Years later I learned that my grandfather Charley was in fact not Indonesian but a Dutch inhabitant of the Dutch colonies. He was a young boy at that time so I'm not sure to call him a colonist or the descendant of colonists. but I AM the descendant of colonists habituating and ruling the land of others for centuries.
Because of this [rich] family-history I am able to follow multiple trails of data, photos and stories. It is all bittersweet to investigate this family history, finding stories of ancestors living a wealthy, 'meaningful' life, also knowing these stories were created within And because of the system of oppression. I feel excited, sad and ashamed at the same time.